Author Archives: theendive

Sotomayer Defends Renting Big Top Pee Wee

Posted on 06/22/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… Supreme Court Nominee Sonia Sotomayor went before the Senate Judiciary Committee today to defend her rental of the critical flop “Big Top Pee Wee.” GOP senators wanted to know why Sotomayor would opt to rent Pee Wee … Continue reading →

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Christopher Lee, Paul McCartney & Elton John go in search of Holy Grail.

Posted on 06/19/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… After being knighted by the Queen of England, 87-year-old actor Christopher Lee joined fellow knights Paul McCartney and Elton John for an impromptu trek into the black forest in search of the Holy Grail. Clad in full-body … Continue reading →

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Ahmedinejad: Hope and Change are here.

Posted on 06/17/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… Newly re-elected Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad used his victory speech to announce that hope and change have finally come to Iran after eight years of failed policies from the Bush administration. “First, I want to thank everyone … Continue reading →

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New iFlan has more Features than Flan

Posted on 06/12/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… Apple announced the release of its new iFlan, which touts 200 more features than flans of the past. The announcement came at a much-anticipated press conference yesterday, covered by hundreds of live bloggers. “The new iFlan will … Continue reading →

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China Cures H1N1 to Get Rid of Ray Nagin

Posted on 06/09/2009 by theendive

<!–[if !mso]> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } <![endif]–> From The Endive…   Chinese officials announced Sunday that scientists from Beijing successfully cured H1N1. Beijing’s best physicians convened to destroy the virus, sometimes known as swine flu, after it was discovered that New Orleans … Continue reading →

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Special Olympics Scraps Wheelchair Water Polo

Posted on 06/04/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… The Special Olympics has decided to put an end to its new Wheelchair Water Polo event, citing a catastrophic first outing. “As we were setting up the nets, I started to have second thoughts,” said Special Olympics … Continue reading →

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Kim Jong Il Goes to Dollywood for Date Night

Posted on 06/01/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… Not to be outdone by the Obamas, North Korea’s Kim Jong-il, his wife Kim Young-suk and his three mistresses snuck out to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, for a date night. “We look forward to riding the … Continue reading →

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Obama Nominates Mr. Potato Head for Supreme Court

Posted on 05/27/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… In another historic move, President Obama has announced that Mr. Potato Head is his nominee for the nation’s highest court. Judge Head would be the first Potato-American to serve on the court and only the third Justice … Continue reading →

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North Korea Answers Critics

Posted on 05/26/2009 by theendive

A Featurette from The Endive North Korea drew criticism worldwide after its recent nuke tests. Kim Jong Il has finally come out and explained what they need nuclear weapons for. – Clearing a path to China because the brush got … Continue reading →

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Shmuck Leaves Shopping Cart in Parking Space

Posted on 05/22/2009 by theendive

From The Endive… Harris Teeter was once again hit by a Shmuck. The discovery was made Wednesday morning when a shopper attempted to park in the second parking space in from the front of the store and found it occupied … Continue reading →

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