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It
was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven,
you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy
would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

The
Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man,
‘Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when
you died.’

‘No
problem, the man said. ‘I came home to my 25Th-floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

Just
as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.

But
wouldn’t you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his
fall and he didn’t die. This ticked me off even more.

In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my hands on to throw at him.

Oddly
enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged
it, push Ed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It
plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!

The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.’

The
Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a
bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, ‘OK, sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven ‘ and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel’s surprise , it was Alex Rodriguez (aka “A-Rod“).

‘Mr. Rodriguez, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died.’

A-Rod said,
‘No problem. But you’re not going to believe this. I was on the balcony
of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a
lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I
guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over
the side!

Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But
All
of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts
cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some
trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn’t die
right away.

As I’m laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I
See
this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It
falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me in stantly.’

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as A-Rod finishes his story.

‘I could get used to this new policy,’ he thinks to himself.

‘Very well,’ the Angel announces. ‘Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven ‘ and
He lets A-Rod enter.

A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up
To the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak.

Thoughts of assassination and war pour
Through the Angel’s head. Finally he says,
‘Mr. President, please tell me what it was lik e the day you died.’

Clinton says, ‘OK, picture this. I’m naked, Inside a refrigerator……