Archive for June 20th, 2008

The Brothel

Friday, June 20th, 2008

The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, Good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

“May I help you?” she asked.

“I want to see Valerie,” the man replied.

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer Someone else,” said the madam.

“No. I must see Valerie,” he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she ch arged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and Gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly Left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row–too Expensive — and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded That he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they Went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man. “No one has ever been with Me three nights in a row. Where are you from?” she asked.

The man replied, ” South Carolina.”

“Really” she said. “I have family in South Carolina .”

“I know,” the man said. “Your father died, and I am your sister’s attorney.  She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.”

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

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Free Range

Friday, June 20th, 2008

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Free Range

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Why city folks have no place in the country

Friday, June 20th, 2008

Cat

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Golf Question

Friday, June 20th, 2008

As I get older, my eye sight is not all that good anymore. Can you please help me with this? Is that, or is that not, a graphite shaft…….

Golf

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US Overrun with small invaders

Friday, June 20th, 2008

 

EU: America Overrun With Small Invaders

With the demographics of Europe in free fall, some social experts and scientists from Europe traveled to America last week on a fact finding mission to discover why America ’s population was stable and even increasing. The scientists were shocked to see that America was filled with tiny people wearing diapers and speaking no discernible language.

“You know,” said one scientist from Germany . “I haven’t seen one of these very small people anywhere in the European Union in years but if history is correct then this could be a species known as infantus terriblus. We believed them to be extinct.”

A sociologist from Sweden postulated that America had been taken over by a race of small undisciplined savages and they seem to have enslaved the big people with some mind-twisting technology. “When these small people drool there’s typically an adult jumping up and wiping their chin. And I hate to say it but when these very small people defecate, the big people change them within minutes and are even sometimes forced to joke about it. And most horribly, some of the little people seem to drink the life right out of the American female’s breast.

One economist marveled at how the economy of America was still so strong while supporting an invasion of little tyrants.

“Thank God that Europe has not fallen under the yoke of these small people,” said Bishop McMurphy of the Anglican Church.

 

Source:  http://www.creativeminorityreport.com/2008/06/eu-america-overrun-with-small-invaders.html

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To all myFriends

Friday, June 20th, 2008

To all our friends 

who in the last year sent us chain letters, angel letters

or other promises of good luck :

NONE OF THAT SHIT WORKED!

Could you please just send money, beer, wine, chocolate, movie- and airline tickets instead? 
Thank you

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The Bathroom Floor

Friday, June 20th, 2008

BATHROOM PAINTED FLOOR !!!

*IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY …



* Thirty-first floor of a hi-rise building….*


*AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM…. *

Bathroom1 

*You open the door…. **
NOW, REMEMBER,*


*THE FLOOR IS JUST * A PAINTED FLOOR !**


Would you be able to walk in to this bathroom?

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How you can tell you’ve pissed off an engineer

Friday, June 20th, 2008

Untitled

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Diesel Sweeties

Friday, June 20th, 2008

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Diesel Sweeties

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