Bad day at Hallmark
by stix1972 ~ May 10th, 2008. Filed under: Humor.Bad day at Hallmark
Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day………
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L ooking back over the years
That we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…
‘What the hell was I thinking?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C ongratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I ‘ve always wanted to have
Someone to hold,
Someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.
————————————– ———————————————————-
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
####################################################
C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go.
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.
********************************************************************************
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W hen we were together,
You always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
W e have been friends for a very long time .
let’s say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I ‘m so miserable without you
it’s almost like you’re here.
=====================================================
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Y our friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
S o your daughter’s a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it’s really good pay
