New iFlan has more Features than Flan

Apple announced the release of its new iFlan, which touts 200 more features than flans of the past. The announcement came at a much-anticipated press conference yesterday, covered by hundreds of live bloggers.

“The new iFlan will revolutionize the way people use flan,” said a spokesman for Apple, “This iFlan has a built-in camera and the most advanced touch screen ever put on a flan.”

The iFlan looks similar to current dishes of flan, save for world’s only touch screen suspended within soft caramel.

“Typical flans of the past were nothing but caramel custard with a layer of soft caramel at the top,” said Suzy Barnes, one of many people who had nothing better to do than blog from the press conference, “There’s something new and exciting in every slice of iFlan – like 32 gigabytes of storage and creamy smooth social networking utilities so comprehensive, this flan can taste you!”

Steve Jobs did manage to make a brief appearance at the event but didn’t say much.

“I asked for some flan and this is what happens?” said Jobs, “And what the f**k are all of these bloggers doing here? Can they type faster than the TV cameras broadcast?”

After jobs excused himself to “go across the street and get some f**king sushi,” representatives from Apple unveiled pictures of the new iFlan and reviewed pricing information.

“The top-of-the-line iFlan only costs $299,” said Barnes, “Plus, Apple is dropping the price of the old flan down to $50 a serving. $299 is a small price to pay for an iFlan with an operating system that allows you to cut and paste.”

Also of interest to bloggers at the conference was the iFlan’s built-in global location system. The system allows people to track the location of their flan any time, anywhere.

“Misplaced flan has been such a huge problem worldwide,” said Barnes, “Now we’ll all know where to find our iFlan at the touch of a button. This is the kind of security and peace of mind that only Apply can give us.”

It remains to be seen if the new iFlan will suffer from the same glitches that the previous flan had when it was released. Apple has promised to stand completely behind its iFlan.

“This is, without a doubt, the most advanced flan ever,” said a spokesman for Apple, “If you have any problems with this new iFlan, call us. We’re so confident, that if there’s a problem, we’ll eat it ourselves.

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